The next 5 weeks.

So wow how much can life change in 5 weeks? its amazing! Pole class, placement, my sister is moving out, I GRADUATE. (well not officially, but I'm done, Graduation is in June. I walk the stage and receive my diploma, which is why its in June.)
The high points that I look forward too are just around the corner it seems. Birthday, Nicki & Aaron's wedding in Germany. (I found the coolest museum to visit in Koln, the Chocolate museum! )
Things are looking up. except for the fact that I don't have a job after I'm done placement, but I'm positive something will come along.

I'm so very tired

P.S. please see the title for the thoughts, which are at this time, all I can come up with. I need a break!

so close!

I am so close to being done! (school) 8 more weeks and that's it!
and one of those weeks is spring break, which I plan on working during but whatever.
and that means that graduation is close, then birthday #25, then VACATION!!!!! and that means seeing Lindsay and then off to Germany!
Its all so close and I can't wait!

No title for jumbled thoughts

well things are just ducky. (SIGH)
Nicki and Aaron have bought a house! yay for them, really. This means I will have a spot in the garage for good, and a new room to move into.
Dance class, level 3 started yesterday. That was an eye opener. I have always known that I am NOT coordinated and was ok with that. Trying to dance and move around a pole in boots like that made me feel retarded. I swear I hit my head on the pole at one point. But still be positive, 5 more classes and a new determination to strengthen my core and legs. I swear that I will use the weights and do the floor routine as best I can. (really)
Sometimes I hate being a girl and having my hormones screwed up royally every month. This month I have been really lamenting the fact that Nicki and I don't have a relationship as sisters. I can't even remeber the last time we were alone together and talked. We have moved away from being sisters that fought over everything to being sisters that can live together with out ever actually be together ( and not in a wierd twisted way, but like how I see other families that get along well enough to be improtant to each other) I truly feel that if I hadn't expressed my intent to go to Germany and be there for her wedding, Nicki would have said well thats too bad, but oh well one less person to worry about, and not really feel like anything would have been missing. I felt that it was important to go and be there for her. I also thought that if Nicki were to ever get married, I would get to be apart of things and be there for her like a sister should. Right now I just ffeel like I did when I was younger and really left out of everything. Like always. I understood with Matt, when he got married to Sandy, because she didn't really know me that she didn't include me more in the whole thing. And I suppose that is the issue here with Nicki, I'm not sure she really knows me enough to tust me with this whole thing. Even just to talk about it, I know that planning a wedding is very personal and difficult enough, with out doing it in another country, but to just share her plans and ideas, just to be included a little would make my day. ( and look now i'm crying so I think I need to stop here.)

#50, an update

So the 50th post brings with it a new placement, at CNIB, slightly warmer weather than the last post and a good feeling.
The placement is going well, though its only been 1 day.
The fact that it's still winter outside, but that you won't freeze in 5 minutes makes it bearable.
The good feeling is that I don't feel like a fat cow. The dance classes are well worth the money and I am hearing that I look good from everyone. Plus on thursday I get to wear my new boots and be all sexy!
So eat your heart out Chris, you missed your shot, po'baby! ( and not just him all the others who missed out on a great thing!)
BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (demonic laughter)

Boys are stupid and mean and petty and smelly and.....(you get my drift!?!)

you know I think that boys are stupid and somehow, no matter what I try to do I end up with regection.
that seems to be my word for today, regection.
I had finally gotten back in to being on Lava, and lo and behold, here's Chris, an Electrical Enginering student (whatever that means) at the University. Lots in common with each other and he was cute in a geeky nice kind of way.
well we chatted and sent e-mails and then he writes that the next week or so is really busy but that he'd like to meet me after, sure ok. I can understand that, a masters program must be really busy.
And then nothing. I tried really hard to even really worry about it or tell anyone, because Murphys law, as soon as I say something it goes up in flames.
Turns out its just me, not even if I say anything at all.
I go the "nicest" its not you its me regection e-mail today.
DAmn it all, he dumpded me before I got a chance to bone him!
I am going to delete everything from lava. Its not working out for me there.

A reflection on the weather in Edmonton

BRRRRRRR ITS FREAKING COLD!

another continuation

Well. Week #3 of placement #1. I've found that this isn't as bad as I thought it would be. The patients are for the most part, really quite nice. and they have things that annoy me as well as things that make me laugh, just like with kids.
I have also found that my 2nd placement has changed from the Glenrose to the CNIB, as an OTA with children. As this is what I had wanted from the very beginning, I am really excited to be going there. I had sent them my resume on line with a note saying that I was in placement still but hoping that they would keep it on file for when I was done, they actually called and wanted an interview. I had to decline, but it was rather flattering. Hopefully a job could come out of placement.

A continuation....

of things already said.
So placement has continued relatively uneventful and really repetitive. Working with the geriatric population is really not something I want to do, but as a first placement its alright. Good experience for the next one which may turn out to be what I want! I have received an e-mail from an instructor that was inquiring about doing the 2nd one at CNIB working as an OTA with children. ( which in case you've been under a rock and haven't heard me say, this is exactly what I want)
So things are looking up, and after last nights class and time with friends, I felt excellent! really great and then to be able to go outside and walk charlie in the sun, just felt great!
I hope every one else has an awesome day!

First day of placement

So today started out alright. got up, shower, get dressed, breakfast, make lunch, to the car + scrape windows then go to placement. No big deal, lots of time and a map. I'm good to go.
So i find the place, its not hard and park go to the front door and ... can't get in. the doors open at 8:00 and I must have been early, so the security guy let me in ( CREEPY GUY) and I waited, not long for the PT, Renee. So we get things going I get shown around and introduced to a lot of people. and finally dumped in the PT gym area to work with the other Aids and patients. OK this is what I have been training for, no big deal. I talk to some of the ladies and help push wheelchairs and move things. and then Ned ( name changed for FOIP reasons) comes in. Ned has had a stroke and is paralyzed on one side. I'm to do ROM (range of motion) with him and work his left arm & shoulder. He doesn't talk to you, just about you. and shortly while we are working I hear " Piece of ass" and not just once, several times and he has tried to pinch both ends of me! Dirty old man! but as this is now "normal" for this man, I just have to grin and bear it, like the permeating smell of urine, that seems to have followed me home. UGH i really cant see myself working in this Field.

Grad Photo

Its a good picture! You have to admit!

WOW its already the end of christmas!

I seriously can't believe it, Christmas is over and done, school has finished and everything is going smoothly,except for the fact that I seem to be missing something, oh yeah, SANITY!
I have had 2 count them 2 days off so far, last Saturday and today, Wednesday. They are few and far between.
I went skating with the 'rents today, I know, lame, but they bought me new skates and that was cool. We need to do more of that. the weather for skating was perfect and the Victoria park Oval was really nice. Hawrlack park was closed due to unsafe ice conditions, meaning that the weather is NOT cold enough to freeze the lake, but I'll take what I can get today.
I work right up to new years, but as I worked Christmas, I get New Year's OFF ! thank god, Jenn & Owen, Prepare the spare bed for me, I'm gonna be DRUNK! hahahaha
I just need to make sure that Sandra (boss @ CHL) knows that I need fridays off. I had forgotten about dance class when I wrote out my availability. Oops!
well I thought this year was nice. (Christmas wise) very little stress at my house, and apparently good timing for Christmas at Mel and Nicks house. ( for more info see Mel's blog)
New Years at Jenn and Owens should be fun, games food and drinks and good times! and a new year to start again and try something new!

Sugar

I think I need to stop eating sugar.
At this moment, I am bouncing, and I haven't been like this since we got hyped up on sugar for a midnight screening at the theatre.
and it is OK, a better feeling than some that I have had.
I can't seem to stop the bouncing.

Being bad, or at least naughty

HAHAHAHA I am at this precise moment of typing, SKIPPING CLASS!
I know its terrible, but I needed the break and I was NOT driving back downtown after my 5 minute appointment at the dentist. I'm sooo bad.... hahahah
I was at the dentist because I managed to break my splint. cracked it right in half.
Luckily they were able to send it back to the lab and have it back to me in less than 24 hours. and the huge bonus here, at NO COST!!!
hahahaha
so at least I am laughing, after my day yesterday. I was very near to frostbite, when AMA finally showed up to unlock my car. which was running. man I'm a idiot when it comes to that. yes Melanie I still haven't learned my lesson about my keys in the ignition.
for clarification of this story, as Mel, she'll tell you, with great delight about what happened last year.

Christmas is coming

Well its on its way. Christmas.
A fairly fun happy time, when we all get together and eat and drink way too much. ( If any one has a heart attack or chokes I'm sure I will know what to do thanks to my Health Care Provider First aid)
the only thing that gets me down at this magical time is that it feels like all the people around me are couples and I'm not. still. I think that once I actually find that guy, Christmas is going to be the best. I'm not going to be the 40-something in the family that still lives on her own, alone with like a thousand dogs or cats or whatever.
I need to get out and be on my own I think. (actually I know!)
As for the rest of the season, shopping for example. I have cut back this year in terms of numbers of presents. 2 separate gift exchanges and it is saving me a bundle! besides, I certainly don't need piles and piles of stuff. I have plenty as it is.

Something other than school

Well at the momnet there is very little to talk about other than school.
So I suppose that I might be able to mention the unusual ammount of sex related entertainment that happened this past week.
So last thursday, Jenn & Owen, Mel & Nick, and Janice & I went to Eden. Jenn had "won" a limo package. ( Actually both Mel and I had "won" too, but we don't have enough people to fill 3 limo's) And it was a night at the strippers. The dancing was mediocre at best and only one of the girls managed to impress us with her pole work. Honestly we do more dancing in our level 1 class (which is over now, until January :-( )
Well after that fun night and an early morning the next day, Friday we end up at the Taboo, naughty but nice sex show. which was fun, and neat to watch the burlesque show. The girls from Showgirls were raunchy! Nasty even, but I suppose that just isn't my cup of tea.
Then along came Saturday and our last class. (which I had a break down in, that was at the time hard to talk about and frustrating.) And after that Mel and I went back to the sex show, trying to get a pair of boots. After all the trouble we had getting in to the damn thing, we find out that the shipment of boots had NOT come in and we ended up with nothing but a headache and sore feet for our efforts. Oh well.
And to top it off, I had to tell the story of it all at school today. Which means I ended up telling about me flashing the hostess for a door prize, which was crazy and kind of not me at all, but it was all in good fun ( to Jenn, Janice and Owen, I hope I did not scar you for life, with the flash of side boob that I know you saw) I won a t-shirt and another limo package to Eden, but I gave that away. (kept the shirt)

HAHAHAHAHA,The Countdown begins

HAHAHAHAHAH I have 10 days of no school!
And when I go back I have 15 days left before I am done for Christmas and then I am on placement and that should go quickly!
HAHAHAHAHA not that I get to be too lazy as I am going to be at work for all but the weekends and Thursday. so not really a vacation, but at least I'm not at MacEwan.
Wow now that October is over, the time is just gonna slip through my fingers and be gone before I know it.
Only 2 more dance classes, Awww but will have to sign up again. Every one should try it at least once!
I had Grad photos taken and I look amazing, of course! those who are in the know will of course get one!
Looking forward to it all!

Ahhh the light was shown to me...

The light really does exist, its called November.
Meaning that hell week is over, and there are a limited number of days and classes left before my exciting adventure known as placement starts. I just wish I knew what they were. oh well sooner or later I'm sure.
I am having so much fun in the pole dancing class with the girls, I have perma- bruises, just like the others, and proud of it. Badges of honor, trust me its worth the bruising to be able to be flexible and dance like that. ( Girls you want to spice things up, try pole dance lessons, trust me) And after the back-hurting incident, its totally cool to be able to bend over and not twinge.
Now I just need someone to show just how flexible and sexy I've become. Maybe I'll find a nice German guy, when we go next year.
Next year, no there's a light to be looking forward too. Graduating, moving out, Getting a great job, going to Germany. and if you think about it, the time will just fly by and those things will be here and I will need to be ready. I know I will be.
so cheers to all who have had a hell week, its over and what is ahead is gonna be great!

The light, glorious light!!!

It has finally arrived! the end of October! and all the stress of hell week has gone. the exams are over (for the moment) and I had my fun at Jenn's party, drinking and eating and dressing up. Jenn as lame as the mystery part was, being the ship's serving wench was fun.
You know thinking on it, dressing up was my favorite thing to do when I was little. being someone else for a few hours is freeing and gives me at least, a different perspective on things. Just not being me is good, and I know its only for a while but its a fun time.
So my advice is if you need to forget your issues, dress up and create a new persona for a while. It may just be fun.
Especially when you can flash a lot of flesh! hahahah Owen we need those pics online.
Now to work on the rest of the list of things to do, but they don't seem to have the crushing weight that they did a few days ago, what with the light back.

I think its getting darker

and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel!
October just can't be done soon enough. GRRRRRR
all the things that are happening and I just want it to be over.
Fair warning, Jenn I plan on drinking heavily at your party and sleeping over.
My list of shit to do just keeps growing and well I'm so tired of it already and its been 3 days.
In case you couldn't tell this has become my complaining blog entry and hopefully soon there will be more interesting and uplifting things to talk about but right now I just need to bitch!
I have 3 exams to do before the week is out and I can really let loose.
Jenn you might want to move the breakables. hahahaha .....but really
the light is fading (both literally and figuratively)
the darkness scares me.
I need a light (hahahah so I can light up.... a doobie)hahahahahah